I know I’m not your mother (if I were, you wouldn’t be allowed out with that haircut), but I am still concerned about your well-being. No one is getting any younger these days, and where would I (and my book sales receipts) be if my beloved fans started dropping dead prematurely?
So we need to get you back into fighting shape.
We’ll start by getting rid of your bad habits. Habits are hard to break, I know, and I shan’t pretend they aren’t. But come on now, you’re all big boys and need to get a grip on things. If you watch more than two hours of telly a day, stop. No more trips to the chippy. And stop buying apps for your phone. Now. They say it takes three weeks to break a habit, so be patient and you’ll get through.
Once your habits are gone, you’re going to have a lot more time on your hands. That time should be spent doing one of the following options: taking a walk in the fresh air, doing some light stretches, cooking and eating healthier meals, ordering and then reading more of my work or spending some time in quiet solitude contemplating what your purpose here actually is. This last one may be rough going early on, but once your head is cleared of Angry Birds, greasy food and TOWIE, things will start falling into place, I promise.
If you keep up this routine for the next three weeks, you’ll be healthier and happier. If for any reason you’re not, you might want to purchase my book Stop Listening To Others and Live Your Own Life For Once, which hits the shops on December 20.