If there’s one thing I’m getting a little tired of, it’s addicts. They get everything these days and I’m sick of it. They’ve got their own spas, their own music, their own television shows and I’m telling you right now they’ve got the Christians wrapped around their little fingers.
Now before you start quoting Bill W. to me, let me say I know being addicted to alcohol or drugs isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Truth be told, it’s not the drunks and smackheads that really bother me. In fact, some of my best friends are drunks and smackheads. They’re not really the ones I’ve got my beef with.
It’s the rest of them—those addicted to fame, to sex, to Twitter, to collecting crisp packets, to setting fires. Give me a break. The worst thing the medical profession ever did was designate these addictions diseases. Disease, my eye.
It’s not a disease that makes people want to get famous and have sex all the time. People want those things because they are fantastically pleasurable (trust a woman who knows). Who wouldn’t want to have their photo in the paper or be shagged senseless 24-7? I’m more worried about those who aren’t “addicted” to these things. There’s something not right there.
If you’ve never stayed up all night playing online poker or experienced the thrill of throwing a Molotov cocktail into the garage of an ex-lover and watching it burn, baby, burn, then you are missing out on some of life’s greatest pleasures. However, if you have done these things and are so greedy that you have to keep doing them, don’t try to sugarcoat it with a medical disorder.
When I was growing up, my uncle was a collector of hats. He had a number of them locked away in his special hat room, which children could not enter without first being blindfolded. Did he have a disease? Was he “addicted” to hats? No. He was a well-respected businessman who liked headwear more than others do. No one judged him but no one took pity on him either.
We all need to start taking a bit more responsibility for the things we do that make us feel good. If you well and truly believe that you don’t have control over your desires, be they for love, money or fame, there’s a relatively simple solution. Just stop doing them. With a little bit of self-control, it is possible—you just need to accept it for what it is and chill out a bit. In fact, why not have a drink? That always helps to take the edge off.
Agatha’s Public Chimes In