Stake Your Future on A Hell of A Past

12 Nov

Tonight ends the reign of Silvio Berlusconi. According to the Guardian, the resignation of “the 75-year-old billionaire brought down the curtain on a government that has played a significant role in taking the European single currency and the global economy to the brink of catastrophe.”

Those not familiar with his sterling performance as an economic leader may remember for him for his admirable respect for women (calling Angela Merkel “an unfuckable fat arse,” his bunga-bunga parties), his hilarious legal cases (tax fraud, embezzlement, attempting to bribe a member of the police, corrupting a judge, paying for sex with a minor and more!), his undeniable compassion for his country (in 2009, he suggested that the tens of thousands of Italians made homeless by an earthquake should see it as “weekend camping”) or his top notch anti-Semitic, homophobic and all around offensive perspectives (describing the Obamas as having great suntans).

However, as we bid him farewell, it’s perhaps better to remember him through the eyes of the one person who knew him better than anyone else: the man himself.

“When asked if they would like to have sex with me, 30% of women said, ‘Yes’, while the other 70% replied, ‘What, again?'”

“Women are lining up to marry me. Legend has it, I know how to do it.”

“I am without doubt the person who’s been the most persecuted in the entire history of the world and the history of man.”

“In my opinion, and not only mine, I am the best prime minister we can find today.”

“I am the Jesus Christ of politics. I am a patient victim, I put up with everyone, I sacrifice myself for everyone.”

Silvio, now it’s time to go, you got an open door.

One Response to “Stake Your Future on A Hell of A Past”

  1. marymungoandmidge Sunday, 13 November 2011 at 12:16 #

    Agatha, you’re so wicked!

    What a wonderful post, loved every second of it. If ever anyone needed a potted history of Berlo they need look no further than this excellent summary. Truly magnifico!


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