Tag Archives: 2012

Let’s Wrap the 2012 Quiz Up Now That It’s Technically 2013

1 Jan

new year 2012If you missed the second half of my fabulous Large, Chubby Quiz of the Year 2012, the questions are listed below. If you’d like to compete against thousands to win something (I’ve not decided just yet), please send you answers (written coherently, please) to onagathasbehalf@gmail.com by noon GMT, 2 January 2013.

17. Who was Mr Heron Williard?

18. For what did David Cameron say he was “profoundly sorry” in September 2012?

19. About what did Nick Clegg say “when you’ve made a mistake, you should apologise” in September 2012?

20. What is title of my newest book, which “dropped” 20 December?

21. Where did Felix Baumgartner land after becoming the first person to break the sound barrier without vehicular power?

22. Complete Mitt Romney’s presidential debate phrase: “binders full of __________.”

23. Complete Barack Obama’s presidential debate phrase: “Well, Governor, we also have fewer __________ and __________.”

24. In October 2012, Silvio Berlusconi was sentenced to prison for which crime?

25. What was different about the Queen’s message this afternoon?

26. Whose effigy did Edenbridge Bonfire Society burn on Bonfire Night 2012?

27. After how many days in the job did George Entwistle resign as Director General on 10 November 2012?

28. What did David Beckham do for the last time on the first of December 2012?

29. What is hyperemesis gravidarum?

30. What was the first video to get over 1 billion views on YouTube?

31. Which country had the best performing stock market of 2012?

TIE-BREAKER:Why am I so lovely?

Click here to display the correct answers.

Alas, I’ve had to declare no winner in the quiz. Unfortunately, the entrant with the most correct answers is someone I once slept with, and I was afraid I’d be accused of rigging it in his favour, if you know what I mean. So I’ve declared a mistrial, and we’ll have to do it all again in eleven months.

But well done to you all!

The Year in Flags: A Review of 2012

30 Dec

Old GloriesSadly, this year, the American flag seems to have spent quite a lot of time at half-mast. In July, it was lowered for the victims of the Aurora shooting; in August, for the victims of the Oak Creek shooting; in September, for the victims of the attack in Libya; and now for the victims in Newtown. Flying the flag at half-mast symbolically honours those who died, but I can’t help thinking that preventing future tragedies might be a more meaningful tribute. Unfortunately, that would require big picture thinking—not always a popular choice as evidenced by this year’s Presidential election. Thankfully, the right man won, but enough voted for Romney to show that many Americans are confused by issues of class. “Middle class” seems to be interpreted as “not homeless” and ultra-rich means “me, not at the moment, of course, but any day now.” One’s actual lifestyle and the reality of how it and the country would be affected were inconsequential. A bit like what’s happening with the current debates on gun control. And on mental health care. And on who should have won The Voice.

Surely, there’s got to have been something positive in America over the last twelve months . . . let me think . . . oh yeah, more states and even the President spoke up in support of marriage equality. Oops, I forgot, it was that which directly led to shooting in Sandy Hook, right, Rev. James Dobson?

Union JacksCloser to home, though, things looked much cheerier: the Union Jack was flying all over the damn place. We waved the flag for the Queen’s Jubilee, for a successful London Olympics and for William’s good work in promptly impregnating the wife. Well done to us all!

Of course, the Tories still want to continue with their obviously-successful-so-far austerity cuts (after all, those Jubilee and Olympic celebrations don’t come cheap, you know), but luckily, this year the BBC taught us that if you close your eyes to the bad stuff, it goes away—never to return. So as long as you’re not young, old, unemployed, working or a Christian woman who wants to serve her church, 2012’s been champion for you!

Now, my dears, I know this sounds quite gloomy and doomy. (Perhaps I should have warned you in advance to delay reading until you’re sober, I apologise.) If you were expecting a bit of harmless fun, I’m afraid you may have confused me with black tar heroin. I’m all about the harsh truth, you know that, so put your seatbelt on, baby, because you’re about to get hit with the harshest truth of all: I’ve still got faith in humanity. You, yes, you, the one sitting on the chair, your continued commitment to keeping my books in circulation bettering yourselves and our world is proof that, despite the bad news, there is goodness out there, my friends.

So together let’s make next year a better one, yeah?


All Knowledge, the Totality of All Questions and Answers, Is Contained In the Dog

1 Dec

Probably my favourite part of the holiday season is the end-of-the-year quiz. This is because I am both clever and competitive (and if you’re expecting me to feel ashamed of either of these qualities, you’re going to be sorely disappointed). Amidst all the hubbub of Christmas shopping, family feuds, and wintry weather, I try to take solace in beating the pants off anyone who wants to take me on at trivia.

Unfortunately, there was an incident at the pub this week and I’ve been barred from quiz nights for the remainder of the year.  I don’t want to make a big to-do of it, but if you’re going to ask for the lyrics to “Tangled Up In Blue,” you really should have the sense to clarify if you’re talking about the Blood on the Tracks version or the Real Live one. And I’d also like to point out that saying I’m going to glass a guy is not the same as actually glassing him. But hey ho, I guess some people just don’t value accuracy and precision as much as I do.

Jimmy Carr will *not* be involved in this operation.

Jimmy Carr will *not* be involved in this operation.

So I’ve decided to step into the quizmaster role for 2012 and feature my own Quiz of the Year. I would like to invite you all to play along.  A question will be posted each day in December on my Facebook page, and the person with the most correct answers will win an as-of-yet-undetermined prize, which is most likely to be the respect of your peers (and in many ways the value of that is priceless, if you think about it).

I would like to reassure that you that, as in most other aspects of my life, I shall be harsh but fair. Cheating, of course, is incredibly unbecoming and won’t be tolerated: anyone seen using a smart phone to access the Internet at any point during the month of December will be immediately disqualified.

Happy quizzing, brain boxes!