Tag Archives: Just Grow Up Will You?

Won’t Someone Stop Russell Crowe?

14 May

For those who don’t care about politics, I do apologise if my recent posts have not held your interest (though I encourage you to have a good think about your apparent lack of social and intellectual responsibilities). Today’s post may be more palatable to those people who apparently think celebrity is more important than policy.

Russell Crowe, a well known actor, stomped out of an interview with Mark Lawson, because he (Lawson) questioned whether or not his (Crowe’s) “English” accent in his (Crowe’s) new film had a bit of the Irish in it. Having not seen the film, I cannot testify as to whether or not this was a fair question (though I do wonder if groans, roars and mumbles can actually have any accent). The fact remains that Lawson is an interviewer, his job is to question. Additionally, Russell Crowe is rather a manly, macho man and Mark Lawson is more potato than human, so I’m sure Crowe must have scared little Lawson to death.

I don’t hold much truck with barbarians who abuse their power but I hold even less for celebrities who throw strops in public. As a public figure myself, I have on a few occasions been asked questions I deemed inappropriate (bra size should remain private between a lady and her lingerie fitter); however, I recognise that I have a duty to my fans to maintain civility in all circumstances. Just because Russell Crowe made one great film in his lifetime doesn’t preclude him from acting like a grown-up, even if his ickle feelings get hurt by a perceived criticism. He needs to learn how to, as I’m sure he himself has shouted at many a crying child, “Stop acting like a crying child” and be a man.

I won’t be going to see his film until he gets himself sorted. Truth be told, I don’t know why they cast a non-English actor in the role in the first place. And besides, I like my outlaws young and foxy, not Australian and brutish. I am too good of a person to mention Russell Crowe’s numerous hissy fits throughout the years. I wouldn’t stoop so low. However, even in isolation, what this tells me is here is a man with an anger problem. I would strongly suggest he contact a professional about the issue. Perhaps he and Sean Penn could take a class together. It’s always good to have a study buddy. Regardless of how he remedies the problem, he needs to remedy the problem.

Campaign for Real Taste

14 Feb

You’ve undoubtedly read about the brouhaha this week over a new “taste” being available for purchase in British supermarkets. It’s called umami,which apparently means “deliciousness” in some language or another.  A refined palette such as my own, of course, did not need Mr Waitrose to introduce me to this flavour: I’ve been familiar with it since Master Satõ Matsumoto and I first gorged ourselves on gherkins in that German beer garden oh so many years ago.  I do find the brand name and promotional material visually pleasing and have therefore sent Christopher out to purchase a tube, but primarily to display as an aesthetically gorgeous trinket, rather than as some breakthrough culinary ingredient.

For I do not accept that this so-called umami deserves to be championed as a “new taste.” (Friends, remember, just because Sky News reports something does not make it so.) Previously, our tastes were sweetness, sourness, bitterness and saltiness.  Quite a bit of variety in there already, and despite its similar suffix, I just don’t think “deliciousness” fits in with the four classics. Personally, I believe we should stick with the originals and if you find yourself aching for a word to describe that olive-like, anchovy-ish, seaweedy flavour that this “new” taste supposedly embodies, may I suggest you simply use olive-like, anchovy-ish or seaweedy. They may not be found in the OED (yet), but you knew what I meant, and let’s just leave it at that.

However, if I were to propose a new taste, a true “No. 5,” I feel most strongly it should be Parma Violets. Think about it: now there’s a taste that is truly like no other.