Tag Archives: Newspapers

The History Books of Future Generations

29 Mar

This is an interesting time to be alive.

Which is good for us, as it just so happens this is the time when we’re all alive. No use banging on about 1936 being an interesting time because I’m guessing most of you were not around during that year (despite my rather “mature” writing throughout this site, it appears to be bringing in a younger and younger audience every single day).

One complaint often made about our time is that we all possess the attention span of a slightly dim goldfish. With rolling news, Twitter, soundbites, we can’t seem to focus on any one thing for very long. Workers’ pay is docked, children are medicated, lovers are chastised–all because people struggle to keep their attentions tuned into one task. Many cultural critics argue that it is the greatest problem facing our world today, but sadly by the time they get through their first sentence of explanation, most viewers have already turned over to see the latest sports score, weather update or Katie Price scandal.

There’s a lot going on, and it can be difficult to keep up with all of it.  I confess sometimes I struggle. I have publishers, reporters, well-wishers and admirers clamoring for my attention every waking hour and you know I don’t like to disappoint. But all of us need to keep our priorities straight and  deal with our day-to-day demands while still being informed, global citizens. Otherwise, we are likely to miss much of what will someday make up the pages of history books.

For example, we are living in a time of great protest. From Egypt to Wisconsin, Syria to London, millions of people are taking to the streets to have their voices heard. Were you one of those history-makers? Have you read about them, watched the reports, spoken up for or against? Do you know why they’re protesting? Some people’s excuse for their current events ignorance is that it is all too depressing to take in. Maybe they would make the time to focus on what’s happening in the world if what’s happening in the world wasn’t so shitty. It’s true that lots of shit is going down right now; from Japan to Libya to the misery and ugliness we see in our own neighbourhoods (yes, Mr Grimshaw, I am talking about you and your penchant for wearing your dressing gown unbelted)—there’s a lot of bad at the moment. But not paying attention to it doesn’t stop it from happening. We live in a “global” world now, don’t forget: if we’ve learned one thing from Ashton Kutcher, we’ve learned that one flap of a butterfly’s wings can cause a tornado on the other side of the world. I propose that, as depressing as the news sometimes is, you’re better off knowing about that troublesome butterfly so you’ve got a better sense of when to expect your trailer home to be carried off in a twister.

Pay attention to the world. Knowledge does many things—it can protect you, it can benefit you and it can change the world.

I apologise for the lateness of this post. Christopher and I participated in Earth Hour this evening, and I’m afraid that once the electricity was turned off and we got out the battery-operated entertainment, we just seemed to lose all track of time.

Immediately Confine All Pigeons and Wayne Rooney for Further Study

22 Feb

I continually find it astounding that people criticize the Sun for not being a worthy newspaper.

Evidence to the contrary: today’s article about Lord Rees, astronomer to the Queen, and his interesting comments about alien life.

Never mind that there is no context for his comments. It’s not our place to concern ourselves with that. The fact that it’s likely he made these comments at a conference of The Royal Society almost a month ago is also neither here nor there. Timeliness is hardly a key issue when it comes to reporting the news. Yes, other news outlets may have covered the conference in appropriate detail at the time, but my friends, it was only the Sun who invested almost an entire month in researching the facts and interpreting them in a way that is relevant to our lives. I say we should be thanking God for that newspaper, not criticizing it.

For if people wanted to really understand the mysteries of the universe, they would have become scientists themselves. Clearly, the Sun knows the only fact we really need is that pigeons and/or Wayne Rooney may be aliens living among us. Now that we have that fact (a fact that no other newspaper dare touch let alone illustrate with photographic evidence), we are much better able to live our lives accordingly.

Informing us about current events and provoking cultural debate are what good newspapers should do, and I’m not sure anyone does it better than the Sun. And if we are ever in an any doubt about what to make of the news this esteemed organ contains, we need only turn to Page 3 where a pair of tits will make it all crystal clear for us.

Thank you, Rupert Murdoch, Dominic Mohan, and Poppy, 18, from Somerset. Without you, I may have never known the truth.


UPDATE: Poppy makes another appearance, giving her philosophical analysis of the 2010 election and how our very basis of freedom is rooted in tits.