No Guatemalans Have Died By My Hands Today

30 May

This isn’t a very nice thing to see staring you in the face when you innocently log on to check the state of a young starlet’s downfall:

Rest assured, my dears, this had virtually nothing do with me. It’s been years since I was in Central America and besides it was only one man and he had it coming. I am considering legal action for this blatant attempt to sully my reputation on an international scale, especially so near the upcoming release of my next tome, Just a Bit of Harmless Fun: A Pathology of Venereal Disease Amongst the Lesser Species.

Expect queues at your local bookshop on Tuesday!

UPDATE: 1 June 2010—I’m afraid “The Other Agatha” is wreaking more havoc. Not nice at all. Please don’t condemn all Agathas because of this.

Thank you to all who gathered two hours before shops opened to be first to purchase my newest bestseller. Your dedication will undoubtedly be rewarded in the next life.

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