Today is the birthday of a dear lady friend of mine, and I spent the eve of it with her. This year is a milestone birthday for her (I’ll be generous and not specify which as I do not want to contradict her online dating advertisement), and she was feeling ambivalent about this news. I decided to offer her a few words of my wisdom, which I shall now give to you here (even if your birthday is not today, this should be considered a gift and therefore you needn’t expect a card from me this year).
Many say “age is just a number” and they are right: age is the number of years that you have been alive and as that number grows, it’s likely that the number of years you have left to live is also decreasing. In other words, every birthday essentially signals death closing in. Think about this, though: actually, every single day you live is moving you nearer to the grave. While this may bring us comfort when thinking of our enemies, it’s unlikely we think it about ourselves every morning as we wake. So why dwell on it once a year, especially on your “special day”?
Therefore, my advice to anyone celebrating a birthday today is to blow out your candles and open your presents without any thought of the fact that soon you’ll be dead.
Have a drink on me, birthday boys and girls!*
_______________________________
*Drinks will not be reimbursed.
Everyone Needs an Algonquin 
Happy Birthday to your dear lady friend,
Old Doc Brandel
On the other hand there are some things which make you want these left-over days to pass and death to come sooner rather than later, like this version of Jaques Brel’s song on the subject by some young ladies in the 1980’s. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUXfsTVO6yo
It’s a good thing my rifle is at the cleaner’s as I would have been seriously tempted to hand Death my dime face-to-face after that.
Yours,
Agatha
Lordy, Lordy, glad I’m not forty!